Team Human

Authors: Justine Larbalestier, Sarah Rees Brennan
Series: None
Publisher: HarperTeen
Release Date: July 3, 2012

Just because Mel lives in New Whitby, a city founded by vampires, doesn't mean she knows any of the blood-drinking undead personally. They stay in their part of town; she says in hers. Until the day a vampire shows up at her high school. Worse yet, her best friend, Cathy, seems to be falling in love with him. It's up to Mel to save Cathy from a mistake she might regret for all eternity!

On top of trying to help Cathy (whether she wants it or not), Mel is investigating a mysterious disappearance for another friend and discovering the attractions of a certain vampire wannabe. Combine all this with a cranky vampire cop, a number of unlikely romantic entanglements, and the occasional zombie, and soon Mel is hip-deep in an adventure that is equal parts hilarious and touching.

Acclaimed authors Justine Larbalestier and Sarah Rees Brennan team up to create a witty and poignant story of cool vampires, warm friendships, and the changes that test the bonds of love.

I never knew I could feel physical pain from giving a low rating to a book, if only a little. Team Human was sold to me as a detective, vampire parody lead by a headstrong, street-smart Chinese teen girl. It isn't often we get Asian protagonists in any novel and being Asian myself, I was more than ready to love this book. What can I say? I'm biased that way. Couple that with Sarah Rees Brennan's dry but witty writing style, I expected a fun, light read that would have me laughing out loud.

I have never been so wrong.

He was also cold. Not ice cold, but cool like water is at room temperature. It was wrong. People should be 98.6 degrees, not 72.

I gave creepy, cold Francis a bright smile, clapped my hands together, and said: "Can you believe summer is over? Hands up, who's going to miss the sunshine?

Mel is the equivalent of a racist. There is no denying that, and no one can convince me otherwise. Whenever she belittled or openly mocked Francis or vampires in general, for that matter, I saw red. Although I enjoy sneering at perfect, romanticized vampires as much as the next girl, it's one thing to make fun of them in fiction; it's entirely different to make fun of one that lives alongside you. If vampires were living, (non-)breathing creatures of our world, I sure as hell wouldn't start cracking jokes at their expense. I don't care if they have ridiculously archaic names. I don't care if they act like they live in the past. I don't care if they become the most disgustingly perfect beings that ever existed. If they led civil lifestyles and didn't hunt humans for food, there is no excuse to be treating them like dirt. Though not exactly people, they are pretty damn close to it and are certainly not animals.

"A true lady would never dream of discussing her health in mixed company," I told him.

"Is everything humorous to you?" Francis inquired with some asperity.
The would be Francis-speak for "snippy."

"Not everything," I said. "But it's really the only way to deal with you."

Francis's lip curled. "I deal with you, as you put it, but remaining courteous despite your ill-judged attempts at humor."

"Everyone else laughs at my jokes," I said. "Oh sorry, I forgot. You can't do that, can you?"

Because of Mel's cruel attitude against vampires, she was extremely hard to sympathise with, and I had to constantly fight the urge to throw the book against the wall for her prejudice. By the end, she does seem to have a change of heart to some extent but as they say, too little, too late.

Aside from the species-ism, I was appalled by a certain snide comment about the stereotypical mean girl, anorexic cheerleaders who threw themselves at Francis, and Mel's harsh judgments about dying patients that would rather live longer as a vampire than accept the embrace of death as a human. At this point, the only thing that potentially made Mel redeemable was her friendship with Cathy.

"Come on, Frankie, she's like a million years younger than you. Where's this going to lead except to breaking her heart?"

After a few days of embarking on her relationship with Francis, Cathy decides to become a vampire as soon as possible. Her friends and even Francis himself are astonished, and each make various attempts to dissuade her from making an incredible life-changing decision so soon. I understand that Cathy is beyond her years and she's given a considerable amount of thought of whether it's worth the risk but like everyone else, I wish she had waited longer. Not just for herself, but for her friends and her family to adjust to the idea. It is her choice, but her choice affects everyone around her.

Another human who looks forward to becoming a vampire is Kit, the boy who was raised by one. He and Mel hold strong attraction towards each other, but she turns him away because of his unwillingness to remain as he is. Their romance, although interesting, invoked little more than a shrug and a "meh" from me, with the exception of the cellphone scene, which I found adorable.

The authors managed to explain their alternate world very well, the humor present in the book was reminiscent of Cassandra Clare, and the detective-sleuthing was pulled off nicely. If not for Mel, Team Human might have been given a solid three.